08/19/2007

Trying not to be stupid — and failing

By Kathy Gibbons
Features editor
kgibbons@
record-eagle.com

Read Kathy's past columns here

They say there's a sucker born every minute.

The thing is, I know that is true when it comes to me. So I try not to be one — and still get taken, or look stupid trying not to.

Example: Traveling to a foreign country, I know I can get to my hotel via train and bus. Thing is, I've got this, ahem, suitcase. I like to have clothing choices so that, just like home, I can sort through it all and still feel like I have nothing to wear. I've also been traveling 16 hours. And it's raining.

But I'm no chump. No, I will not jump into any old cab and get taken. So I go to the airport tourist counter and inquire about the cost of a taxi. He says it will be about $35 American. I decide it's worth it and go out to flag one.

Before I get in, I ask the driver how much it will be. He tells me in their currency, which I have notes on but haven't learned yet. There's a line of cabs and people, so I get in and calculate as we drive. Hmmm. About $50? In the end, it's $70. I am steamed at myself. Especially when, going back via bus and train, it's $5.

But that came to mind when my daughter and I went to Chicago to do some school clothes shopping and see a show. We had one full day there and planned to take the subway from our hotel in the suburbs. But it was really hot and it's an easy drive along the lake on a Saturday, so that's what we do.

We arrive around 9:30 a.m. anticipating stores open at 10. There's a garage with a sign, early bird parking, $10, and I pull in. But it's valet parking. I don't want to turn my car over to someone else. That's just me. The guy is dealing with the driver ahead, so I go to back out. He dashes over and holds his arms out, saying, "Just tell me why.”

I explain I want to park myself, and he gestures to an empty spot a few yards away, "You can park it right there.”

"How much is it?” I ask, and he says $16.

Recalling his sign said $10, I feel he thinks I'm an easy mark. So I say that's more than I wanted to pay, thank him and leave as he looks at me like I have three heads.

After that, the self-park garages have prices all higher than $16. Time is wasting. Finally, I just pull into one with no sign — how bad can it be? As the garage door closes behind us, we can see prices posted, $23 and up. Two cars are ahead of us, not moving. It's all automated, and the machine is out of tickets, so the gate won't go up. More cars pull in behind us. No one can move or escape.

It's a half hour before a human comes along to get things moving. We get out of there and pull in to the very next self-park place. Their early bird parking is $11 before 10:30, and our ticket is stamped 10:29. So I guess it turned out.

But I wanted so much to go back and apologize to the first guy — to say that I should have listened to him, that I was just trying not to be a stupid tourist.

It's just that some things are bigger than we are.