02/05/2007

Foodie With Family

Life is never dull with my five boys

By Rebecca Lindamood
Local columnist

Having five sons is always an adventure. What I'm unsure of is how much of this adventure is universal, unique to my brood, or common to homes whose walls do their best to contain more than one boy. Maybe some of you who share my blessing would like to let me know whether any of this sounds familiar.

1. Spontaneous workouts

With some frequency I hear a noise akin to bodies being thrown at walls and floors coming from my living room. Upon examination I find that my sons are either doing just that or doing manic semi-stomach crunches or running warp-speed laps around a circle with a five-foot diameter or performing such feats of strength as lifting the piano bench over their heads.

When questioned, one of them invariably replies with something along the lines of, "Mom we're just exercising. Better get some food ready — our muscles need it. Every bite and they get bigger, you know …” (Oh, I know about getting bigger with every bite, but it's not usually muscle with me …)

2. Spontaneous wrestling

Similar in physicality to the spontaneous workout, spontaneous wrestling consists of bursting into free-form wrestling whenever the muse strikes. This wrestling is always accompanied by a great deal of noise. It starts good-natured and often ends only when someone "accidentally — dunno how it happened” gets kneed in the eye or elbowed in the nether regions.

Some preferred locations for this include, but are not limited to: the checkout line in the grocery store; the middle of a crowded aisle in the grocery store; and the stairs leading to the sanctuary at church before the service on Sunday. A variation of this is referred to as "Sumo.” This is accomplished by removing shirts, yelling "TA DA DA. TA DA DA” at top volume and throwing themselves against each other in an attempt to push each other out of an imaginary circle known only to the individual who claims victory.

3. Perpetual sound effects and/or suspense music

Newton's Law of Motion stated that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. My boys have one-upped Newton by adding a corresponding sound effect often accompanied by suspenseful humming to each action. For example, sweeping the floor requires making a sound that resembles strip-mining explosions and is paired with frequent repetitions of a song that goes "Bum, bum …” big intake of air, "… BUUUUUUUUUUUUM!”

4. Unappetizing dinner table topics

Most meal topics introduced at the table by my sons fit into one of four categories. I like to refer to those categories as: bodily functions, catastrophic wounds, "what the dog ate” or "why I should be allowed to (fill in the blank).”

5. Embarrassing phone etiquette

I am all-too-often compelled to say odd and embarrassing things to my children while on the phone. My father delights in keeping a list of some of the things he has heard me utter such as, "Hey! Don't sit on your brother's head … it doesn't bend that way” and "Quit trying to stab your brother through the door like that,” or the all-time favorite, "Would you please stop rubbing your brother with a pickle?!?!”

These recipes will please the tastebuds and eyes you feed whether they be sumo wrestling, sound-effect making, iron-stomached, phone humblers or not.

Super Simple Dulce de Leche (Milk Caramel)

• 2 unopened cans sweetened condensed milk, labels removed

Method 1: In a slow cooker set on low, put both unopened cans and pour in enough water to cover by at least two inches. Top with the slow cooker's lid and cook for 8 hours. Use tongs or a silicone oven mitt to remove cans from slow cooker to a towel and cool until the cans are at room temperature.

Method 2: Preheat oven to 425°. Open cans of sweetened condensed milk and pour into a shallow and wide ovensafe bowl. Cover tightly with foil and then place that bowl inside a roasting pan. Carefully pour water into the roasting pan until it is halfway up the side of the interior bowl.

Bake in oven for about one to 11/2 hours, checking a few times on the caramel and the water level. Make sure to add some water if the level gets too low. When the dulce de leche is thickened and a nice caramel color, remove from oven and let cool on the counter. Once cool, whisk until smooth.

Either method works great and we love to use it as a fruit dip (particularly with tart apple wedges) or as a filling between cake layers … Or, quite simply, to eat with a spoon.

This recipe came from a cooking show years ago. I can no longer recall which show it was but it's a reliable favorite in our house.

Japanese Salmon and Linguine

• 1/2 c. olive oil
• 4 salmon filets, skin on
• 2 to 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 2-inch piece of ginger, grated
• 1 bunch green onions
• 1/4 c. shoyu (soy sauce), more or less
• 1/4 c. sake
• Black pepper, to taste
• 1 lb. linguine, cooked
• Chicken broth if needed

Put oil in a pan. Put the salmon filets in and flip to coat. Rub with garlic and ginger.

Mix together remaining ingredients, except broth, in a separate bowl. Pour half of the mixture over the salmon. Cook over medium to medium high heat, covered, for five minutes or until the sides look cooked most of the way up. (There will still be lots of pink in the center.)

Turn salmon, pull skin off (should come off easily) and add the rest of the mixture. If it needs more liquid, add broth 1/4 cup at a time. When salmon is opaque all the way through, remove from heat. Remove salmon from skin. Pour liquid over linguine, then place chunks of salmon on top. Garnish with slivered pickled ginger.

Rebecca Lindamood is a northern Lower Michigan native now living in New York state. Drop Rebecca an e-mail at shakeyourfoodie@yahoo.com or write to her care of the Record-Eagle.