05/01/2007

Generation Why

Generation Why

Dreams that cannot come true

Still looking for 'a better life'

Editor's note: The author of this essay ended up graduating early from an area high school. She is no longer in touch with her teacher, who said she heard she is engaged to be married.

What happens when your family gets separated to get a better future?

Well, I have a story for you.

I was 8 when my dad said that we didn't have a lot of stuff we needed. In that moment, he said something I never wanted to hear.

He said, "We are moving.”

We asked where and he said, "To another country.” I was just scared and mad in that moment, but then I thought, what about my friends? My grandparents?

Well, it was hard, but at that time, I really thought everything was going to be OK. But then I started thinking that to go to the other side of the border, we needed papers.

My dad said we didn't need papers this time, and when I asked why, my dad said we only had to pay money this time.

He started telling me I would get a better future and a nice job. That was the whole point of coming over here from Mexico — parents trying to give their kids a better future. I am the oldest; I have two more brothers and one sister.

I am 18 years old and about to graduate. I am sitting here watching everyone in my grade, all my classmates, getting things ready to go to college. I just keep thinking, "Why did my parents sacrifice all?”

During our years here, my grandfather died and I never got to see him again. I asked myself, "Is this all I can get for a better future? High school? Is that it?”

I want to have the same rights that my classmates do, to be able to go to college.

I have been here almost nine years, and I never thought I was going to have a problem, but I always knew that I didn't have a Social Security number. That number has held me back from so much stuff that I wanted to do.

I was ready to take my certified nurse aide test. I had all the requirements, but now I can't take the test because I need the Social Security number. I don't have one, and I probably never will.

So what am I supposed to do now? Sit here, watch everyone get a better future, while I am waiting to see what happens with me?

And then I think "What was the whole point of coming here? I can't say that I was treated badly, because I love every single person that I have known since I got here, and everyone has been so nice to me.”

But there are just things that I will never understand. I'm trying to find an answer, but no one has one.

So is this a dream that cannot come true?