05/01/2007

Generation Why

My scar is badge of honor

It's the symbolism behind the marks of my surgeries

By JORDAN WAGNER

Special to the Record-Eagle

I am a two-time cancer survivor, a major feat for a 16-year-old girl.

A 10-inch scar right below my bellybutton is my everyday evidence of that title. My scar is a part of my body and it has grown up with me. It represents three major surgeries before I reached my third birthday. It is very symbolic of my battles, my courage, my determination and my ultimate victory over cancer.

With the constant encouragement of my parents, my scar has always been a source of pride for me. I have always worn bikinis and I continue to do so. By showing off my scar it tells everyone that I am a cancer survivor. No one has ever given me funny looks at the beach or asked me questions about my scar. I am someone who has always been comfortable in my own skin. As a teenager I keep my scar unhidden and I am not embarrassed to show my scar to the world.

My scar is the source of many stories that I will carry throughout my life. As a 7-year-old girl, the youngest person at sleepaway camp, I was an instant hit with the older girls. Everyone decided that my stomach had a "smiley face,” a novelty that not many can say they have! Even today, I still talk and laugh about my "smiley face.”

Another incident occurred recently. I was talking with a group of kids from one of my classes. We started talking about cancer and other diseases. When I mentioned that I am a cancer survivor, one kid immediately questioned my statement. This comment caught me off guard. Why would I lie about being a cancer survivor? I promptly lifted my shirt just enough to prove him wrong. "Do you believe me now?” I asked.

My scar is related to my dreams for the future. Even when I was struggling with cancer, I knew that I wanted to become a physician someday. As long as I can remember, I was around chemotherapy, CT scans, blood tests and regular checkups. Medicine is a part of me.

Since then, I have narrowed my career goals and decided to become a pediatric oncologist. As a childhood cancer survivor, I have so much that I can give back to other kids battling cancer.

Surviving cancer has made me a very motivated person in all aspects of my life. I always go the extra mile and I have very ambitious goals. May 21 marks my 14th anniversary of being cancer-free. My anniversary is like another birthday to me. My whole family celebrates the event and my parents still come into school with a cake!

This anniversary is particularly special for me. After volunteering at the American Cancer Society for almost a year, I decided to form my own "Relay for Life” team. My team's name is "Carpe Diem” (Seize the Day). It's an appropriate name because I am always seizing every day.

I don't know where I will be in the next five or 10 years, but I will always have that scar to remind me of everything I have been through and everything I want to become.

Jordan Wagner is a sophomore at Traverse City West High School.