When truth is better than fiction

By Kathy Gibbons
Features editor
kgibbons@
record-eagle.com

Read Kathy's past columns here

People often accuse newspapers of making things up. But there are occasions here when you think, "No one could make this stuff up.”

Take this recent email, reprinted here as received:

"To people at the Holiday Inn, I offer my apology for brining a women who drank too much and embearassed the customers also I want too thank the professionalism of your police department and a big thank you too all the people from the union station taveran for there help.”

Sounds like quite a night.

This one came from a woman in Minnesota:

"I met someone that lives in the U.P. named Mark this weekend in Minneapolis at the Marriott hotel. I do not have a last name but I do know that he works for a company that sets up convention booths and does a lot of traveling. I was wondering if there was any way that you can help me find him and reunite us again?”

Then came this one from a man referring us to his Web site:

"The rule to get into Hollywood is you must have good connections, so after you have gone to my Web site to read my movie outlines, if you liked what you have read and believe that at least several of my movie outlines should be made into movies, then please contact all the people you know who will help me get into Hollywood so my movie outlines can be produced into motion pictures.”

Then there was the artist who somehow thought we were going to review her work (we don't) and were going to hate it:

"I have been informed by an insider that you plan on reviewing my art in a very bad critique coming this very Sunday issue. This is a direct malignment of my work. You will be liable for defamation of character if you should make this horrid critique ... should you berate my work to the public, you will be responsible for the cost of the paintings should they not sell.”

Now, Northwestern Michigan College's White Pine Press puts out a spoof issue called the "White Pine Pickle” around April Fool's Day. Our education writer inevitably gets a couple of calls after it comes out, from people wanting to know why, as in this year, the Record-Eagle wasn't also covering the story that was in there about a student being allowed to walk nude during commencement ceremonies?

Then in the mail to us the other day came a clipping from it, marked up by someone who signed it only as "past NMC graduate.” Next to a story about a class being offered on "Perpetual Loan Deferment” were written the words:

"ARE OUR COLLEGES PROMOTING FRAUD?” Next to the naked graduation story, "PLEASE TELL ME, IS THIS A JOKE?”

YES, IT IS.